English Senior Caught Speeding By Camera, Politely Accused Of Being A Man

Caught by speeding cameras doing 52mph in a 40mph zone, 59 year-old Kent native Pauline Synnott was dismayed when she received a traffic citation in the mail. Photographic evidence had clearly recorded her violating traffic laws, however, and Synnott reluctantly admitted to police in a responding letter that she was indeed guilty as charged. Prepared to pay the $100 fine and accept the three penalty points that would be assigned to her driving record, Synnott was shocked when she received a second letter from the police suggesting that she was misrepresenting herself as a woman.

According to an excerpt of the letter, published in The Sun, Kent Police, “From the copy of the photograph, it appears that the driver was male. I have therefore enclosed herewith a further set of forms and would ask you to complete them again with name of the driver.” [Pictures of Synnott in original article at TheSun.com]

Apparently, the vehicle Synnott was driving at the time she committed the infraction was registered to her partner, 65-year-old Roy Watkins, and her admission of guilt to the police didn’t jive with the driver information they had on file. Understandably, both Watkins and Synnott are outraged over the indignity, and Synnott especially is downright embarrassed over being mistaken for a man. Although the police apologized for the mistake, the couple is currently seeking “compensation”, and Kent officials have admitted they are “Working with the couple to resolve this matter.”

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Motorist Caught In British Parking Lot Encouraged To “Get A Room”

Spoiler Alert: it’s not as dirty as it sounds. In London, private parking lot security company Parking Eye has come under fire for issuing non-criminal parking tickets to motorists who have overstayed there welcome. While such conduct is usually simply operating procedure, Parking Eye has faced a torrent of criticism because they give no public indication that the lots are under a time restriction - or that they’re being monitored. According to the Daily Express, Londoner Emma Faulkner was downright outraged when she received her ticket from Private Eye in the mail.

Apparently, while making a late-night trip from London to Presten, Lancaster, Emma found herself nodding off behind the wheel. Hoping to catch a quick nap and prevent a fatal disaster, Emma pulled into a nearby parking lot and caught a few hours sleep. About a week later, she received a $100 ticket in the mail for overstaying the 2-hour parking limit. “I didn’t see any sign saying only two hours,” explained Emma, “I’m genuinely horrified. They are always on about safe driving and having a break if you are feeling tired. They surely can’t expect you to book into a hotel room for four-and-a-half hours?” Apparently, they do, and if you can’t afford one, you better be prepared for a ticket. Fortunately, Private Eye and many other private security firms like it are dispensing their own brand of justice, which doesn’t hold the same weight as official government regulations. Motorist rights protection group roadsidelawyer.com stresses this to its members, warning that any document demanding the payment of fees is not legally binding unless issued by the government. The private companies are aware of this too, and threaten civil action if the balance is not paid in full. Dismissive of the bullying tactics, a spokesperson from roadsidelawyer.com explained, “The standard procedure is for them to huff and puff a lot and churn out an endless stream of letters talking of imminent legal proceedings. The reality is that letters are cheap and taking you to court?is expensive.”

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Joshua Schulman’s Advice on Driving in Mexico City

Last summer, I visited Mexico with a few friends. One of those friends was the internationally famous musical sensation Joshua Schulman from the band “Thunderbang!“. Josh was the driver and I was primarily the passenger. I sat back, drank Pernod, and took in the beautiful scenery and heavy aromas. I was also in charge of the radio, and bribing officials when we encountered trouble. Bring lots of extra cash to Mexico.

Now, driving in Mexico City is insane. We rented a car, a Nissan Tsuru (although we were given a Chrysler Town & Country), to visit the Toltec ruins in Tula, and on the way back had the misfortune of getting lost north of Mexico City’s historic district, where, among other mistakes, we drove through a market and almost killed a number of extended families.

Josh was nice enough to highlight some of the choice bits of driving wisdom he learned from this harrowing experience in Mexico City:

- Cars will not stop at red lights. They will only stop when traffic with the right of way inches up enough to block them off. This happens at major 6-lane intersections.

- Cab drivers will cut off three lanes of traffic to pick someone up at the side of the road.

- Cab drivers will also antagonize other cab drivers. We were passengers in one cab on our way to the airport, when another cab came in alongside us, trying to enter an on-ramp. Our driver said to the other driver very calmly, “Chinga tu madre, ¿sabe cómo usar sus direcciones?” which translates loosely to “Fuck your mother, do you know how to use your turn signals?” This resulted in us getting cut off half a dozen times.

- Nothing matters at night. Drivers will blow red lights behind cops who just blew red lights.

- Left turns on red lights are okay, as long as you look both ways. The key word here is “look” - oncoming cars are irrelevant.

- Hundreds of naked protesters will distract you while trying to find a gas station on a major thoroughfare.

- Children will walk backwards into oncoming traffic, often while holding their parents’ hands. It’s like a bizarre, real life David Lynch movie

- A drunken local will stand in the middle of a crowded market intersection, directing traffic to try and ease congestion. When you don’t follow his directions because an entire family is running out into the path of your minivan, he will call you ‘the faggot’.

- Don’t enter traffic circles. Someone will die.

- There will be traffic any time of day. This will not stop anyone from escaping said traffic by driving 75 mph in reverse onto an on-ramp in order to get to a side street.

- DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, enter a traffic circle.

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