Technology Parents Must Have in their Cars: No DVD Players?

Now try confining them to a car

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning full of ideas and wisdom.

Of course, most mornings I find myself in a blurry fog while doing things like accidentally pouring cough syrup instead of creamer into my coffee. Lucky for me, and the entire auto world, today wasn’t one of those mornings.

Today I woke up with brilliant ideas swirling in my head about how to build cars more parent-friendly. I was equally delighted when I saw that Ford would be hosting a chat with marketing manager Amy Marentic about automotive technologies important to moms.

I’ll tell you what Ford, you don’t even need to have that chat. You just need to read this; because this is what all parents, not just moms, need in their cars:

Invisible force fields separating all seating positions.

Any parent will tell you that kids fighting in the car is an instant mood changer. I don’t care if you’re driving with your freshly bathed children to meet the pope on Easter morning while listening to The Wheels on the Bus, if one kid reaches over and pinches the other, suddenly your fuse explodes and you’re screaming like Glenn Beck discovering his kids are democrats.

All parents know: kids touching each other equals fights. Automakers: figure out how to make it impossible for kids to touch each other. Parents will buy your cars.

Sound deadening glass separators

This would be kind of like what you see in a limo. Even though the force fields are installed in the back seats already, we all know a kid determined to pinch his brother will break through all known technology. When this happens, a parent should be able to push a button (not unlike closing a sunroof) and become encased in a soundproof cockpit, along with the sounds of soothing jazz and the scent of sizzling bacon. Because bacon makes everything better.

Built-in customizable booster seats that self clean

This is so obvious I shouldn’t even have to mention it. Why do parents still have to mess with infant seats that never fit correctly then move on to booster seats that always sit too far to one side and cover up the seat belt attachment? If an automaker developed a seat that was:

• Comfortable and safe for the kids
• Able to adapt to infants, toddlers and big kids
• Could be removed when no longer needed
• Resistant to crumbs

Every parent in the country would be knocking on dealer doors to get one.

Parents don’t need much in their cars. All they need is a safe place for the kids to sit and a way to keep kids from fighting. That’s it. DVD players, video games, refrigerators… those are all just modern conveniences getting in the way of our commute while training kids to believe that they must watch TV at all times while always being within reach of a cold drink.

That shouldn’t be expected until marriage.

What parent-friendly features would you like to see in a car?

-tgriffith

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